So, in the end what did they accomplish? The millennial, the mud, the movement that didn’t move and never danced.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author’s program note. You know what was wrong with the great millennial movement now receding worldwide? They never looked like they were having a good time… these denizens of our grim day made a statement all right, but it was dour, unsmiling, without a provocative get-down dance move to be seen. But since this generation not only doesn’t read but probably can’t read, they don’t know the secret to a successful revolution is fun. Because if you can’t have fun overturning the powers of the world, what’s the point! Woodstock Occupy America never was… and so this movement never had legs, much less any tangible success.
That’s why I’ve selected a famous dance number for today’s incidental music. It’s “We are family” by Sister Sledge. Written by Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers, it was released in 1979 and immediately set the world dancing… and why not? There has never been a culture anywhere that didn’t embrace the ecstasies of dance… not least because it’s a superb way for young ‘uns to show off their bods, unceasing energies and the hot moves that cause old folks who have forgotten their own younger days to tsk, tsk.
What did they want? Everything. What did they get? Nothing.
One day in September, a lazy young man who got irritated and surly every time his mother asked him to clean his room, decided “enough was enough”. He didn’t know what that meant, but, to his unclean and untutored ear, it sounded… well it sounded ominous, important, something that would surely get him something. And so he called a couple of his worthless buddies, the kind of schlemiels who are always hanging out, hoping to pick up a few scraps from the table; the kind of kids you feel sorry for and who are later arrested for stealing your silver ware. “Come on ovah,” he says, “we’ll hang out.”
Let’s call this kid Zeke, because surly young men with turbulent rooms always have names like Zeke, as young parents expecting their first born should know. A bad name can wreek havoc at any time or place.
Anyway, Zeke sends his first text message to the authorities that be, namely Mom. It says “I have enuff… No clean room ever again. When’s dinner? Can Bobbie stay ovah 2nite?”
Despite a lifetime of irritations from her kid, outrages big and small, thoughtlessness of every kind, Mom still loves her Zekie and so indulges the bathless brat, by delivering his dinner rather than the slap on the back of his head he well and truly deserves. Yes, Mom’s love protects him — again.
Zeke’s mooching friends arrive.
Zeke has no job… no ambition… no objectives… no goals… and a world of time. His useless friends are the same… no where to go, no way to get there, scroungers each and every one of them. And so, inevitably, they gather in Zeke’s ever more filthy and disgusting room to… complain about his Mom, their own Moms, and the entire business of Moms in general. It’s unfair… unjust… and they just don’t like it, so there.
Next text to Mom reads, “Mom we r hngry. Can you feed us? P.S. We hate you.”
First off, you must never forget Mom loves Zeke… she knows he needs a swift kick, knows she’s coddled him for life, knows that he’ll probably be living with her the rest of her life… and that he picks up scum in the street faster than gum to a shoe… but she loves him… and so indulges him. So, she calls all her fellow Moms and arranges a meeting to determine what to do… she also buys a dozen boxes of Arm & Hammer baking soda and hides them in his room… because, not to put too fine a point on it, Zeke stinks, his buddies stink, the room stinks, and one of the neighbors has sent a letter to the board of health.
Now this is a problem.
Next text message received: “We hate all Moms. Plze get me warm clothes NOW?”
What they do all day.
In the past, Zeke, always near the bottom of his class, was going nowhere fast. But now, he’s got buddies… a world of buddies… all useless, all just hanging out… all with text messaging, masters of short, misspelled messages, filled with incoherent demands. Thus, Zeke and his buddies besides eating Mom’s free food and clogging the overused and under scrubbed facilities (to Mom’s shame and disgust) spend every waking minute texting their buddies worldwide.
First, they text this “Meet at Zeke’s. Bring lyrics to Kumbaya. Also lice killer.” Zeke’s new (itching, scratching) friends start arriving. “Hey, man, got any video games?”
Then folks who can’t come, decide they want to do what Zeke’s doing but in their own neighborhoods… ’cause sitting around the house, doing nothing, going nowhere fast is “wicked cool”… and all their equally worthless friends agree. They have never had more fun in their lives… although they smell something fierce.
The Moms gather.
By now Zeke and his feckless friends have taken over all the rooms in his house… including basement and attic… and they’re all over the front yard, the back yard… and… the neighbors’ yards. This is now a Real Problem. And so the Moms gather… the loving Moms, the angry Moms, the Moms who want to bash in Zeke’s head and every other head, too… every Mom present, accounted for, with an Opinion On The Matter. They decide on Action… and so… they put Zeke’s Mom in a hotel along with the heirloom china she’s afraid they’ll break or steal… and start Retaliating…
… they shut off the heat… they turn off the water… they turn the already obnoxious “necessaries” into truly noisome middens… they put saltpetre in the food.. and end all Charmin deliveries. They mean business…. and the kids gets grossed out… Moms know their business… and are a lot smarter than Zeke and his friends ever knew; although one Mom with a Social Conscience smuggled in some “Moist Wipes” thus earning the contempt of every other Mom. “I couldn’t help it,” she said, “Cathilynn has never been unclean before.”
The media discover a “story”.
Folks in the media spend a lot of time waiting for Something to Happen; sometimes they get so bored waiting that they speed up the process; this is especially true if you work for Rupert Murdoch, a guy who hates waiting. Anyway, it didn’t take long before Zeke and his unwashed buddies were on Fox News being asked probing questions like this:
“What are you here for? ” They didn’t know.
“Who’s your leader?” Don’t have one.
“How long will you stay?” As long as necessary until we find out what we want, and get it.
And so a Huge Story was uncovered… and dutifully reported by news media even more clueless, if possible, than Zeke and the unwashed.
Then one day it happened…
The Moms stormed the Bastille, grabbing the occupiers by the back of their necks, pulverizing the sinks, the toilettes, and the unexpected cache of cusinarts and blenders, literally sending the kids to the showers. It was thorough, effective, well organized and it did the job.
Besides, it was getting close to Christmas, and Zeke and his buddies wanted to see what Santa brought them, for each and every one of them believe in Santa, you can bet on that, as they rely on so many like Santa, people who gave them everything and asked for nothing.
And now the grand summary for the would-be levelers of the world. Not having leaders didn’t work. Not having objectives didn’t work. Not getting off your privileged posteriors didn’t work. What worked was the system that you belittled, affronted, inconvenienced, and outraged. It gave you the hearing you wanted… even though you had nothing of any worth to say and forced us to indulge you to hear and pay for it.
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About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Details at worldprofit.com and JeffreyLantArticles.com
Author: Jeffrey LantThis author has published 572 articles so far. More info about the author is coming soon.