by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author’s program note. I’m Illinois-born and bred, and that’s why I’m tickled pink by the latest developments in the political education of pizza man Herman Cain. I mean, we loyal Illini were beginning to pine for another good scandal. We haven’t had one, you see, since ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich was convicted in August, 2009 on 17 counts, including the really bright idea of trying to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by some guy named Obama who got a promotion and immediately moved out of the old neighborhood.
Anyway, we’re so used to red meat in the Loop and what we call Chicagoland that a piece of ham-fisted political skullduggery doesn’t begin to satisfy us to the extent that it would with, say, the rubes of Des Moines.
So, we’re all just pleased as punch at the advent of Sharon Bialek, a Chicago woman you didn’t know about a couple of days ago… a woman you will call “what’s her name?” just a few days from now. But she’s got news value right this minute… and I say, “Hurrah!” since all the political junkies in bars around the Land of Lincoln were beginning to lament the scandal-free landscape. But they are sure happy now.
Here are the facts:
Herman Cain is a guy who woke up one morning with a well-known American bee in his bonnet: he decided he was the White Hope of the nation, a Man of Destiny, ready to be outfitted for his place on Mt. Rushmore. Never mind that the man, a titan amongst pizza makers, had never had to make a decision more weighty than whether his pizzas should include anchovies, or not; Herman knew he was exactly what ailing Uncle Sam needed. And so he wrote a book (mandatory for all presidential candidates) to make his case to the nation and so started his gaffe-filled quest, a quest that made Don Quixiote de la Mancha and his Impossible Dream look as grounded as money in the bank..
For instance, on the matter of China and our need to worry, candidate Cain warned us of our jeopardy should the Red menace ever get The Bomb. It was promptly pointed out to the defiant “What me worry?” candidate that China became a nuclear power 47 years ago. But who needs facts when you are a master in the selection and positioning of pepperoni, which impacts us all and every palate. That’s real power.
Herman Cain, a man who could partee!
I’m guessing from the censorious commentary in publications online and off that these guys don’t understand the hospitality industry in which Cain cut such an expansive, larger-than-life figure. But I do know this industry where enough is too little and satisfying every little whim is their credo and pride. In short these boys and girls knew how to have a real good time.
Too much rich food, way too much booze, too much conversation that skated perilously close to the unacceptable and unprofessional (and often went beyond)… too much skin showing, too suggestive by half, and nary a spouse to be seen. They were at home like Mrs. Herman Cain, wife of 43 years, teacher, librarian, mother of two, grandmother of three, and completely invisible while her back-slapping, late playing, grand-standing hubby fights for his political life. The dutiful spouse who used to stand by her man… now lets “till death do us party” swing in the wind while she makes other plans. Nice.
You can picture the scene; it goes like this. “Hi, I’m Herman Cain.” “Nice to meet you, Mr. Cain.” “Call me Herman.” And so the primordial dance of man and woman, big- wig and small fry, promotion giver and promotion seeker begins and progresses, all fueled by a ton of gratuities in the hospitality suite, overseen by one of those eye- popping ice sculptures, now melting from swan to ugly duckling.
In this business cum pleasure environment, Herman Cain, master of innuendo and the can’t be complained about hug and kiss, ruled. And he got away with every questionable action… even to the extent of dishing out tidy sums to ease forgetfulness amongst the ladies who rebuffed him and needed to be removed from sight and mind. Had he never run for president of the United States no one would have cared about these ancient gropes and grinds from the libidinous ‘nineties.
But not only did he run… he ran without first examining his life and actions.. .to be sure he was like Caesar’s wife far above and far beyond any reproach whatsoever. He owed this scrutiny to the supporters who flocked to the hokum of his “9-9-9″ message until all hell broke loose and his campaign needed “911″ not “9-9-9.”
And when it did, he stood before the world as naked and confused as the Emperor who had no clothes… exposing both himself and the party which made him its “front runner” to the most vulgar of jokes and erudite speculation on how a man of so little knowledge, absolutely no demonstrated political successes and no ability whatsoever to deal with this crisis had the unmitigated gall to stand before the citizens asking for the greatest gift of all.
The culprits of course are not the 4 women who say Cain made grossly improper suggestions. They are but the proximate cause of the current imbroglio. They will all come forth, all 4 of them, as Sharon Bialek already has, and they will tell their squalid little stories to a nation which cares nothing for them or their “courage” in making their claims. They are only insignificant pawns in the far bigger story; of why Cain, with so little to recommend him to a great nation, should still be politically kicking at all, for that is the true surprise.
Cain, of course, has only himself to blame for this debacle for which he blames himself not one iota. He is innocent, the victim of a witch hunt; he is misunderstood, he is white as snow, he is the victim, the greatest victim ever; he categorically rejects anything that is detrimental to his ludicrous candidacy. And so he goes on, day by day, hoping Adolph Hitler was right, that if you say a thing often enough the people will come to see it as the unvarnished and total truth. And so he stonewalls, never understanding that by so doing he fuels the media’s desire and determination to discover all… and so make the pizza maker eat dirt.
In the end the ladies will have their moment of fame and they will say enough so detrimental that Cain will drop out as his support and finances tumble.
Why has this happened?
And now we come to a blunt assessment of why this is all so bad for the GOP. The man who should be the beneficiary of Cain’s pratfalls and misjudgments, Mitt Romney, is in fact the problem, not the solution. He issues white papers; he offers numbers and plans, but the people see him as a man with statistics but no heart; a man it is virtually impossible to like… and they do not wish to follow such a man.
Cain exists now for one reason, because his supporters cannot abide the unpalatable Romney and are not sure what to do now that their unlikely paladin hangs by a thread. Any of the accusing women, with a plausible story and good presentation, can cut this thread… making Mitt more likely as the nominee but no more likely as the man to lead America forward. And this is the great dilemma of the GOP, once a great engine in the triumph of the nation, now in search of someone to lead us to greatness again.
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About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Dr. Lant is also a syndicated writer and author of 18 best-selling business books. Details at worldprofit.com and JeffreyLantArticles.com
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Author: Jeffrey LantThis author has published 572 articles so far. More info about the author is coming soon.